Competence is the experience of being able to meet a task, develop a skill or have an effect through what you do.
It can be deeply satisfying. It can also become the reason you are given every task and almost never asked what you need.
Being good at it doesn’t mean you must always be the one.
You organise the gathering, fix the problem and remember the details. People appreciate you. Eventually, handing something over feels almost harder than doing it yourself.
Perhaps you value the skill. Perhaps you also want a day when nobody needs you to demonstrate it.
Competence and obligation aren’t the same thing. You can keep your abilities and reconsider the arrangements built around them. You can also be a beginner somewhere else without losing the knowledge you already have.
Receiving asks how help can reach the capable person. Autonomy considers whether you are freely choosing the work or simply continuing because everyone expects you to.
The Center for Self-Determination Theory’s introduction to Self-Determination Theory places competence alongside autonomy and relatedness. It offers a useful reminder that being effective is only one part of a satisfying life.