You can be touched and still feel a long way away.
What happens in you when something good comes near?
Tenderness. Rest. A hand on your back. Someone who wants to take care of you for a change.
Perhaps you soften. Perhaps you start managing the moment. Smile. Make a joke. Find something useful to do.
I Want to Be Touched invites you into the small physical responses you can miss while being attentive to everybody else. The beginning is simple: what is this moment like for you?
When you look relaxed, are you resting?
Or holding very still?
There can be effort inside the calm face. A breath held, a stomach tightened, a response made pleasant before it becomes honest.
Across seven stages, you explore the difference between contact you choose and contact you endure, between wanting closeness and feeling obliged to make it work.
You get to be specific. This touch. This pressure. This pace. Yes, here. Less, please. Not now.
Your preferences become part of how intimacy happens.
How much of being “fine” is work?
Making the other person comfortable. Keeping your face easy. Noticing what they want before you know what you feel.
Darling, you are allowed to be a person in the encounter too.
Testimonials
A book you experience
The journey brings reading, my recorded guidance, writing and body maps into a repeated practice of noticing. You explore your own sensations, recognise where receiving becomes effort, and experiment with simple pleasure at a pace you can choose. The attention you develop can accompany you into touch, conversation, rest and everyday life.
What you may begin to notice
Sensation before the explanation you usually give it.
The difference between ease and holding yourself still.
A yes, no or need for more time that deserves attention.
What you do when care starts coming towards you.
Small pleasures you are present enough to receive.
Four capacities you’ll practise
These are the five skills this journey focuses on. Follow each link to explore its place in the I AWAKE capacity system.
Sensory self-contact
Notice your breath, warmth, tension and other physical responses.
Touch & body connectionReceiving capacity
Explore what happens when you allow care or closeness to reach you.
Intimacy & relational closenessTouch discernment
Distinguish contact that feels welcome, neutral, overwhelming or unwanted.
Touch & body connectionSomatic yes / no
Include bodily cues when recognising and communicating your preferences.
Boundaries & consentMutual intimacy
Make room for both your experience and the other person’s in closeness.
Intimacy & relational closeness
A structure that gives you room
Each stage gives you a way in, space to explore, and a way to close. Begin with the opening guided recording, where my voice and music I composed especially for the I AWAKE universe help you notice your body’s responses alongside thoughts and feelings. Read the day’s chapter. Explore three writing prompts and a body map as the fourth prompt, then return to the closing guided recording.
The rhythm becomes familiar as the questions deepen. Take one stage a day, stay longer with a chapter, or pause and return when you have room. You decide the pace, darling.
Listen to how it feels when I guide you.
Hear what it feels like to be guided.
Questions
and answers
No. You begin with your own sensations and responses. The reflections can inform relationships, but another person is not required to begin the journey.
Its territory is wider: bodily awareness, receiving, boundaries, touch and the ability to be present. Sexual experience may be part of what you explore, alongside many other kinds of contact.
You can begin there. You are not asked to produce a particular sensation or force yourself open. Noticing uncertainty, tension or very little at all gives you a place to start.
No. The seven stages give the journey its sequence. You can take a stage each day, give a chapter more time, or pause and return. There is no deadline.
Give yourself time for my recorded guidance, reading, writing and body map. The books suggest that a couple of hours per stage can work well if you have that space. You can also spread a stage across more than one sitting.
It is a guided experience with chapters to read, specific writing prompts, body maps, my recorded guidance and music composed especially for the I AWAKE universe. You have a structure to follow, with room for your own responses.
Sensuality here includes your capacity to notice, feel, receive and respond through your body. Sexuality can belong to that experience, alongside touch, pleasure, emotion, presence and ordinary life.
You can begin with the journey whose question feels closest to your life. Each book offers its own sequence. The wider series gives you other places to explore when you want them.
This is an educational and reflective experience. It can sit alongside other forms of support, but it does not diagnose, treat or replace therapy or medical care. You can pause a practice whenever you need to.
Choose print and your physical book will be sent to you. Choose digital and your book will be available in your digital library immediately after checkout. You can read it directly in your library. With either edition, you’ll receive an email immediately after checkout with your access link and login details for the course platform, where my recorded guidance, the accompanying music and your course material are available.
What’s inside
Eight chapters. Seven stages to explore at your own pace. The final chapter is an integration imaginal journey, giving you space to bring the experience together.
Each of the seven stages includes:
- An opening guided recording with my voice and music I composed especially for the I AWAKE universe.
- The day’s chapter to read and explore.
- Three writing prompts, with space for your responses.
- A body map as the fourth prompt, to notice and record what you feel.
- A closing guided recording.
The pace, pauses and sequence of the guidance are deliberately chosen to help your nervous system settle. They give you time to notice your body’s responses alongside your thoughts and feelings before continuing with the reading and your own reflections. On the course platform, you can also choose to play the separate background music while you read and answer the questions.
You also receive The Circle, the guided imaginal journey for integration, and a longer guided practice to return to whenever you want time with yourself.
A substantial book, made to spend time with. The printed edition pairs premium, thick cream pages with full-colour illustrations and easy-to-read 15-point type. There is ample space to write, explore and doodle in the margins. Room to make this book your own.
If I were you, I’d want a sample first.
Enter your email to receive access to the first 50 pages for free in your digital library. We’ll email you a link to sign in and read your sample on the website.
Room for your experience
You shouldn’t have to translate yourself to feel seen.
There is room here for different genders, relationships and ways of moving through life. Whether you tend to reach, withdraw, over-give, stay guarded or become the one who handles everything, you can begin with your own experience.
This experience is for you if…
- You want closeness but often become guarded, useful or absent when it arrives.
- You can read another person’s mood more readily than your own physical response.
- You want a more honest relationship with touch, pleasure and your boundaries.
Each of the seven stages includes
- An opening guided recording with my voice and music I composed especially for the I AWAKE universe.
- A chapter with a specific theme to explore.
- Three writing prompts to bring the material into your own experience.
- A body map as the fourth prompt, to notice and record physical responses.
- A closing guided recording to return to the body and meet what has come up with care.
After the seven stages, continue with The Circle, a guided imaginal journey for integration. A longer guided practice is also included for you to return to.
Continuing with Aurora
Would you like company as you continue?
Aurora is the I AWAKE practice partner, designed to help you explore the book’s questions and bring the practices into daily life. She is currently available by invitation. Join the waiting list for information about access connected to your journey.
Aurora access is separate from the book, guidance and music access described here.
Let your own experience into the moment.
You can begin with something as small as noticing what feels welcome. That is already a different way to meet yourself.
Prefer another retailer?
Choose your edition
Printed book + guidance and music
Your printed book includes access to my recorded guidance, the accompanying music and course material. Immediately after checkout, you’ll receive an email with your access link and login details for the course platform, where you’ll find my recorded guidance and the music that accompanies it. You can listen to my guidance and the music while your book is on its way.
Digital book + guidance and music
Your digital book will be available in your digital library immediately after checkout. You’ll read it in the library. You’ll also receive an email immediately after checkout with your access link and login details for the course platform, where you’ll find my recorded guidance, the accompanying music and course material.
Testimonials
